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Dear Sisters
Some of you have shared about the concerns you have about your daughters
covering, or refusing to cover, etc... May I (very humbly I might add) ask
a few questions?
Do your daughters get to choose the clothes they wear?
Do your daughters get to choose the 'company' they keep?
Do your daughters get to come and go as they please?
Do your daughters regularly talk on the phone in private conversations
with others?
Do your daughters get the choice of staying home from church, or
attending?
Do they sit with you as a family in the church service?
Do your daughters seem more concerned with what their 'peers' think about
them, than what God, or you as their parents think?
Do your daughters watch TV programs and listen to music of their own
choice?
Do your daughters have 'boyfriends'...go 'steady'...date?
The answer to these questions will often reveal the source of the problem
in 'why' they would rebel in obeying God any of His commands... such as
the headcovering, etc...
A tract on headcovering that we use states this:
"Daughters who have covering problems and hair problems need
fathersand church leaders who are gracefully insistent."
Do you allow them to 'have their own way' in many of the things mentioned
above? If the answer is 'yes' to many of the above questions... you might
ask yourself 'who' is in control?
"My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of
thy mother: Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy
neck. When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall
keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee. For thy
commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction
are the way of life:" (Prov.6:20-23)
Pray for the Lord to guide you and your husband in taking 'back' the
control of their training/teaching... they need YOU all to make these
decisions for them...
What they choose to do once they are 'old enough' to be on their own...(in
their OWN home, paying their OWN bills, etc...) THEN they can choose...
The verse, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is
old, he will not depart from it." (Prov. 22:6)
It says: "when he is OLD"... Children (yes...even
"teens") are not to be left to making their own decisions while
they are still under the loving command of your household. They are not
'old', until they are able to be out on their own... and that time should
come only when they are prepared spiritually, emotionally, mentally and
financially.
BUT, until then: "as for me and my house, we will serve the
LORD." (Joshua 24:15)
They need to obey and serve the LORD... and it should not be left as a
'choice' they make on their own.
I know that some of you sisters may choose to 'agree to disagree' with us
on this issue, but when it comes down to whether they are going to obey
the Lord... we gently and lovingly insist on OBEDIENCE. First to God, and
then to us! It is NOT an option for them to obey... if they don't
understand 'why'... that is okay, God will ALWAYS bless their obedience!
And He will bless YOUR obedience to Him in training/teaching them to obey!
To allow 'rebellion' against you as parents in what you are striving to
teach/train them, is only to be teaching/training them that they can
'rebel' against God as well...
THAT is why their obedience in even the smallest things is SO very vital
and important! If they practice rebellion and disobedience (which are
SINS) with their parents, they will not hesitate in rebellion and
disobedience to God...
We don't allow them to 'choose' obedience or disobedience in ANY other
area of their lives, and we would not allow them to be disobedient to us
or to God in this area either.
I will continue to pray for these young girls, and for you as theirparents...
We all need to depend on our loving Heavenly Father so greatly in these
days, more than ever.
In His Love,
Sis Jennifer
We believe that daughters should begin covering at least by the age of
'accountability'... by that age they can understand right from wrong, and
are indeed accountable for sin. Disobedience to God and His Word, as
taught/trained by you and your husband, is sin. For them NOT to cover
after this age, when you do, would be a sort of 'double-standard' in their
young minds, would it not?
If your husband supports you in this, although he does not share the same
conviction, would he not support you in teaching/training your daughters
in this as well?
As parents we are responsible for their belief or nonbelief in the things
He has commanded. They are loaned to us by God to teach and train them in
HIS way. :)
For example, we believe God tells us to dress modestly. For our family,
that means that my daughter and I wear dresses/skirts only, and that they
are modest by all standards, in length, looseness, etc...
If I were to wear modest dresses, but allowed my daughter to wear pants,
or short skirts, etc... what would I be teaching her?
What if I allowed her to dress in such a way until she was a 'women' (as
you put it... * grin*)? Do you think she would easily embrace this change,
or rebel against it?
I can almost guarantee that any daughter who's allowed to do as SHE
pleases, and against what the Bible teaches (and even against a mother's
Godly example), would rebel, and would be very open about it as well!
She has developed in her heart a desire to do what SHE pleases... a desire
to be conformed to the world...
We must be very careful about the messages we send our children. Every
choice we make (or don't make) eventually effects them.
Do we pray in front of them? Do we speak kindly to and about others? Do we
dress modestly? Do we read our Bibles and memorize His precious Word? Do
we faithfully attend church? Every single choice we make, whether it wrong
or right has SUCH a great impact on their lives. Do you teach them the
importance of obedience in ALL things? Then, they should obey God in all
things, not just some of them. :)
Some sisters will begin covering their daughters as tiny infants, I am not
about to tell them this is wrong. In fact, if I had been covering when
Ashley was born, I probably would have covered her from the start. :)
But, I do believe they should at least begin covering once they reach the
age of accountability... once they are old enough to understand about
salvation and receive Christ, they are old enough to also 'obey' Him in
this, simply becaue He says to do it.
They will understand 'more' by and by... and He will greatly bless your
obedience and theirs in the mean time. :)
Sis Jennifer
These messages were posted on Headcovering Christians Egroup
www.egroups.com
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