NEW!  6/29/05

Hello! 

I grew up in Catholic schools and God called me to Himself as a young lady. I became confirmed in the Lutheran Church and very soon afterwards, became reformed in my thinking, being convicted of the sovereignty of God. I desired to learn as much as I could from the word of God and godly speakers and authors. 

Shortly after I was married, by the providence of God, He led us to a Orthodox Presbyterian Church. Never before had we experienced a church that was so true to the word of God and had such sweet fellowship. Now I no longer just had tapes to listen to and books to read of godly men and women, but I was being taught in the presence of people that were giants of the faith. 

Not experiencing a mother's love or the teaching of a mother, the pastor's wife soon began mentoring me and teaching me and has become a spiritual mother to me. Ideas that I had heard about women dressing like a woman were no longer abstract thoughts that I would try to put into practice here and there but became a reality as I saw the example of my spiritual mother. She taught me and reinforced what it meant to be a godly woman, being submissive and a servant not only by her words but also by her example. 

In the last year of attending our church, God has taught me an immeasurable amount. And yet, because of God's love, He is not through with teaching me how I can live my life more in accordance to His standards and what is pleasing to Him. He is ever tenderly teaching me His truths. 

The other day my husband and I were having a discussion about if candles had a place in worship. During our discussion, he said that here I was trying to clearly not advocate something that was not clearly stated against in scripture and yet something as plan as headcoverings I was not obeying. I quickly retorted back that my hair was my covering and how he was always accusing me of being a Pharisee when he was trying to force something upon me that surely was Pharisaical. He calmly got His Bible out and read the passage to me where it clearly stated that there was an additional headcovering. I thought to myself, surely not and urged him to talk to our pastor as his wife did not wear a headcovering. 

So my husband did talk to our pastor and they studied the passage together, in the Greek, the German, and the English and our pastor who had thought the hair was a covering was convicted that an additional headcovering was mentioned. As my husband studied it more with me, different commentaries bluntly said that a woman who would not cover her head actually showed contempt for her husband. I love my husband and want him to be my head and I love God and want to please Him above all men. 

And so that is with great delight that I discovered your website by searching on the web. I am excited to receive the headcoverings and to doing what is right. 

Sincerely, 
Aimee 

NEW! A HUSBAND WHO'S HARD TO SUBMIT TO
by Wendell E. Miller Should a wife always submit to her husband? Should a husband make all the decisions?  http://www.biblical-counsel.org/qa-12.htm


NEW!MARRIAGE ROLES IN BIBLICAL BALANCE
by  Wendell E. Miller  God's will is for Christians to esteem His entire Word, and to both understand it and obey it in biblical balance. However, all too often Christians fail either to understand biblical balance in marriage roles or to be willing to obey God.  
http://www.biblical-counsel.org/pa-02.htm



Dear Ladies,
If we are supposed to follow the headship order, don't you think God would give the men the convictions to follow first, then the men would give these to the women? That's how it is written it should work; God, Man, Woman. It seems that these new revelations about Scripture are something that the women are latching on to, but the men have never thought about it. Why?

Answer:
This is the way it's supposed to be, isn't it? But no. Adam sinned. Eve was deceived, but Adam, not being deceived, did eat. That messed everything up from there on out. Sure, the ideal is that order that God created, and I encourage all seeking women to defer to their husbands if their husbands say "NO" to the covering. But I have noticed the same pattern you have, that often times it is the wife who understands these things before her husband. Perhaps it is a test of God to see if we can/will wait on our husbands for guidance and do as they say, even if we have understanding before they do. Perhaps it is because many husbands WON"T lead.

Question:
Also, I hear that a lot of you are getting more negative reactions from other Christians about your coverings, than from the regular public. Do you think that other Christians think you are trying to prove you are more of a Christian by wearing an outward symbol, where everyone can see it, instead of concentrating on the inner self?

Answer:
Well, they may think that. That doesn't make it true. Maybe, their consciences are pricked. Maybe they don't want to make the changes that would go along with the covering. Most women I know who recoil from the idea of covering are also dressing immodestly, taking charge over their husbands, involved with questionable entertainment and activities, etc. It is not meek, mild, humble women who are dressed modestly, Christ-like in almost everything they do that fight it so bitterly. For me, wearing the outward symbol doesn't PROVE anything, but it does help me to remember my place. It DOES cause changes in my behavior than if I wasn't wearing it.
Sure, it is important to concentrate on our hearts and to make sure we are good witnesses, but does that mean we shouldn't cover until we're perfect? God tells us to cover. He doesn't say to wait until you're worthy of the covering.

Question:
Unfortunatly, I have seen some very bad witnesses from headcovering ladies, going so far as to outright go against their husbands wishes on something. Why wear it, then?

Answer:
Good point. You know, even though I am covered, I still have miles to go before I sleep. It does not make me righteous or perfect. Just today I said something hateful and nasty about my soon to be ex-sister in law. Later, after I said it, I realized that it was a terrible, terrible witness for Christianity. We should be loving. Jesus would NEVER have said what I said. It was just a reminder that I need to continue to work on the inside, even though the outside looks pretty good. Maybe covering highlights how far we still have to go. It makes us more visible and people watch us closer, like they would the preacher and his wife. This is a good thing to remember, ladies. People are watching you (and ME!!!) with your covered head and they are watching to see if your life reflects the God you serve. When I go out for entertainment, people see what I pick (cringe!!!!!!) When I go out with my children, people are watching how I discipline them and how I speak to them. When I am driving, people are watching to see if I'm courteous and calm, or nasty and rude. We would do well to remember this and be on our guard what kind of witness we give in public. Everything we do under watchful eyes tells someone something about God and Christ. 

-Chris


Dear Sisters~

There has been some thoughts expressed lately about women not coverings their heads, unless their husbands agree, or 'allow' them to do so... Have any of you ever thought about the fact that the man's 'head' is God, and that He, being a Holy God, ONLY offers to man that which is right, in other words, man is NEVER given the 'orders' to go against the Word of God.

However, man DOES often try to tell their wife to disobey God's Word, and follow instead their 'own feelings/convictions'...even when they go directly against the written Word of God! Should a woman follow her husband leading in doing those things which are clearly written and commanded in God's Word?

When he leads her and their children contrary to God's Word, should she follow? Does this sound logical? Would any of you stop praying if your husbands told you they didn't think you should? What if they asked you to cut your long hair very short? Suppose they asked you to go buy them some liquor at the local liquor store, would you buy it for them? What if he wanted you to watch a movie with him that was filled with immorality?

What? You would go against their unBiblical leading in these areas, yet you won't go against their unBiblical leading in the matter of covering/modest dressing/separation from the world?

Now...one of you sisters used a good example of being in Godly submission... I believe it was this... Suppose your husband announced that he would only like you to wear the color 'blue.' There are to my knowledge NO Biblical teachings AGAINST wearing only the color blue, nor does it harbor on any appearance of 'evil'... Of course, it would be reasonable to talk with him about this, and try to express your desires, and why you would prefer NOT to wear only the color blue, etc...

HOWEVER, if he listened to you, and once you had both searched the Scriptures, and you both could see no Scriptural sin in so doing, and he STILL desired you to follow his direction in this matter of wearing 'blue'... you SHOULD obey him, and follow his direction.

Now, suppose he said he wanted you to wear only short shorts, wear low cut tops, cut your hair shorter than his, and wear make-up to excess... A wife facing this sort of unBiblical leading would obviously show her husband the Scriptural reasons why she should not follow his leading. What if he refuses to listen though? What if he says he STILL wants her to do as HE says?

Should she? NO!!!

God's Word should be the FINAL AUTHORITY for the woman, and if her husband is going against God's WRITTEN Word in a particular area of leading, she MUST not follow him. Does anyone honestly believe that she should? If not, then what is the difference in a man telling his wife he does NOT want her to cover, he doesn't want her hair long, etc...etc...

When after showing him the Scriptural reasons why she SHOULD cover and have her hair long, and he STILL refuses to listen, should she 'obey' him, or God? God doesn't weigh one 'sin' against another... Sin is simply 'sin' in His eyes!

If it is a sin for a man to lead his wife in error to the written Word of God in other areas, it is JUST as wrong and sinful for him to lead her in error to the written Word of God in EVERY area! Does this make sense? I pray that it does...

I have never seen disobeying God's Word as an option for a woman, simply because she has a husband either:
a) who refuses to obey God's written Word
b) claims he is not under 'conviction' about something clearly written in the Word or
c) chooses his OWN way of leading his family rather than God's way!

Are we given excuses or special circumstances in which we are allowed to go against the Word of God, and sin?

NO! NO! NO!

Certainly the Lord desires women to be in submission to their husbands, but He does not give them liberty to sin, because they have husbands who lead them with weak backbones in obeying His Word!

When we put ANY man's desires above those of our Holy God, we are indeed sinning!

Dear sisters, I know this WHOLE issue of submission and the headcovering can be VERY confusing... But it truly doesn't HAVE to be! We ALWAYS need to simply remember, that GOD and HIS WORD are the FINAL AUTHORITY for our lives... If He has told us in His WRITTEN Word to do something, we better not listen to ANYONE else but HIM!!
He will bless our obedience and faith in Him MUCH MORE than our obedience to man... We are told to seek HIM first, and ALL His righteousness, and ALL the other 'things' will be given unto us!

The 'things' could mean He will bless us by giving our husbands TRUE understanding... in ALL areas of leading us and our families... Should we continue doing wrong and sinning against the written Word of God while we wait on our husbands to lead us according to God's Word?

NO! Of course not!

We MUST put God FIRST, even above our husbands! Please accept these thoughts from the great love from Christ that I have for each and every one of you! May we ALL look to Christ ONLY on areas of our lives that He has specifically written to us about...

May HIS Word be the 'final Word'! :)

In His Loving Arms~ Sis Jennifer

The "Christian " women we have come across will let the husband be the head up to a point. These are just some of the things that they say.

"If the husband is telling you how to dress and to cover, he has gone too far and better get his life right with God."

Also . . . "Who is the church to tell us women what to do!"

"I want to look nice! No makeup or 'lacy' dresses or big bows in hair? How can I live that way!"

And then there is the abuse issue. . . "First he tells you what to wear; you give him the headship, and he will start beating you!"

The key word is submission to what God says first, even if we don't like it or if it hurts our pride --then submission to our husbands. This is not abuse. Does God abuse the church??? I think that Christians know what is right but don't what to submit. How loud do children cry when they want their way?

I wanted to head cover before my husband wanted me to. We did get in to it a little, I wanted him to know that this was right. It's hard to be Godly wife and to make a point to my husband. But I waited for his blessing on it. This has drawn us closer together.

Bless you all,
Victoria

Dear Ladies;
I felt the heart to share something with you, who want to cover but do not want to dishonour your husbands. When the Lord put it on my heart about 4-5 months ago, it was during my praise and prayer time in my prayer closet. For a while I just didn't understand why I was doing it, I just know that I felt more humble and somehow closer and more intimate from the day I began covering in my prayer closet. Despite the lack of full understanding I listened and obeyed, but kept my door locked during which time I was covered via long, long scarf. It wasn't until after I read Watchman Nees book that I understood I Cor. 11, and read it to my beloved and immediately the Holy Spirit gave him understanding. Thus I am totally released to honour my Father and my beloved. Yet because I feel the Lord led me to this specifically in my prayer closet, I do not see how this could dishonour your husband to just wear it in your private prayer closet when praising, worshipping , praying, and doing your Bible study in His Holy Word. That is between you and God, private and a blessing. Seek the Lord on this for your own answer, but truly this is a personal time with God, and I see no room for dishonouring the lordship in your home. Matthew 6:6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. I really feel deep in my spirit, in the very heart of my heart, that my obedience unto God secretly, birthed the devine revelation so instantly in my husband as God willed it, in His perfect timing. It truly was like a light going on for him, there was no discomfort,and the word was easily entreated, it became so natural for both of us instantaneously, this is my reward, the loving support of my husband openly. Praise and glory to God Almighty who does continually overtake us with
blessings.
Love to you all.....
Agape' Linda


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