I grew up in Catholic schools and God called me to Himself as a young lady. I became confirmed in the Lutheran Church and very soon afterwards, became reformed in my thinking, being convicted of the sovereignty of God. I desired to learn as much as I could from the word of God and godly speakers and authors.
Shortly after I was married, by the providence of God, He led us to a Orthodox Presbyterian Church. Never before had we experienced a church that was so true to the word of God and had such sweet fellowship. Now I no longer just had tapes to listen to and books to read of godly men and women, but I was being taught in the presence of people that were giants of the faith.
Not experiencing a mother's love or the teaching of a mother, the pastor's wife soon began mentoring me and teaching me and has become a spiritual mother to me. Ideas that I had heard about women dressing like a woman were no longer abstract thoughts that I would try to put into practice here and there but became a reality as I saw the example of my spiritual mother. She taught me and reinforced what it meant to be a godly woman, being submissive and a servant not only by her words but also by her example.
In the last year of attending our church, God has taught me an immeasurable amount. And yet, because of God's love, He is not through with teaching me how I can live my life more in accordance to His standards and what is pleasing to Him. He is ever tenderly teaching me His truths.
The other day my husband and I were having a discussion about if candles had a place in worship. During our discussion, he said that here I was trying to clearly not advocate something that was not clearly stated against in scripture and yet something as plan as headcoverings I was not obeying. I quickly retorted back that my hair was my covering and how he was always accusing me of being a Pharisee when he was trying to force something upon me that surely was Pharisaical. He calmly got His Bible out and read the passage to me where it clearly stated that there was an additional
headcovering. I thought to myself, surely not and urged him to talk to our pastor as his wife did not wear a
So my husband did talk to our pastor and they studied the passage together, in the Greek, the German, and the English and our pastor who had thought the hair was a covering was convicted that an additional headcovering was mentioned. As my husband studied it more with me, different commentaries bluntly said that a woman who would not cover her head actually showed contempt for her husband. I love my husband and want him to be my head and I love God and want to please Him above all men.
And so that is with great delight that I discovered your website by searching on the web. I am excited to receive the headcoverings and to doing what is right.
HUSBAND WHO'S HARD TO SUBMIT TO
by Wendell E.
Miller Should a wife always submit to
her husband? Should a husband make all the decisions? http://www.biblical-counsel.org/qa-12.htm
ROLES IN BIBLICAL BALANCE
by Wendell E. Miller God's will is for Christians to esteem
His entire Word, and to both understand it and obey it in biblical
balance. However, all too often Christians fail either to understand
biblical balance in marriage roles or to be willing to obey God.
If we are supposed to follow the headship order, don't you think God would
give the men the convictions to follow first, then the men would give
these to the women? That's how it is written it should work; God, Man,
Woman. It seems that these new revelations about Scripture are something
that the women are latching on to, but the men have never thought about
This is the way it's supposed to be, isn't it? But no. Adam sinned. Eve
was deceived, but Adam, not being deceived, did eat. That messed
everything up from there on out. Sure, the ideal is that order that God
created, and I encourage all seeking women to defer to their husbands if
their husbands say "NO" to the covering. But I have noticed the
same pattern you have, that often times it is the wife who understands
these things before her husband. Perhaps it is a test of God to see if we
can/will wait on our husbands for guidance and do as they say, even if we
have understanding before they do. Perhaps it is because many husbands
Also, I hear that a lot of you are getting more negative reactions from
other Christians about your coverings, than from the regular public. Do
you think that other Christians think you are trying to prove you are more
of a Christian by wearing an outward symbol, where everyone can see it,
instead of concentrating on the inner self?
Well, they may think that. That doesn't make it true. Maybe, their
consciences are pricked. Maybe they don't want to make the changes that
would go along with the covering. Most women I know who recoil from the
idea of covering are also dressing immodestly, taking charge over their
husbands, involved with questionable entertainment and activities, etc. It
is not meek, mild, humble women who are dressed modestly, Christ-like in
almost everything they do that fight it so bitterly. For me, wearing the
outward symbol doesn't PROVE anything, but it does help me to remember my
place. It DOES cause changes in my behavior than if I wasn't wearing it.
Sure, it is important to concentrate on our hearts and to make sure we are
good witnesses, but does that mean we shouldn't cover until we're perfect?
God tells us to cover. He doesn't say to wait until you're worthy of the
Unfortunatly, I have seen some very bad witnesses from headcovering
ladies, going so far as to outright go against their husbands wishes on
something. Why wear it, then?
Good point. You know, even though I am covered, I still have miles to go
before I sleep. It does not make me righteous or perfect. Just today I
said something hateful and nasty about my soon to be ex-sister in law.
Later, after I said it, I realized that it was a terrible, terrible
witness for Christianity. We should be loving. Jesus would NEVER have said
what I said. It was just a reminder that I need to continue to work on the
inside, even though the outside looks pretty good. Maybe covering
highlights how far we still have to go. It makes us more visible and
people watch us closer, like they would the preacher and his wife. This is
a good thing to remember, ladies. People are watching you (and ME!!!) with
your covered head and they are watching to see if your life reflects the
God you serve. When I go out for entertainment, people see what I pick
(cringe!!!!!!) When I go out with my children, people are watching how I
discipline them and how I speak to them. When I am driving, people are
watching to see if I'm courteous and calm, or nasty and rude. We would do
well to remember this and be on our guard what kind of witness we give in
public. Everything we do under watchful eyes tells someone something about
God and Christ.
There has been some thoughts expressed lately about women not coverings
their heads, unless their husbands agree, or 'allow' them to do so... Have
any of you ever thought about the fact that the man's 'head' is God, and
that He, being a Holy God, ONLY offers to man that which is right, in
other words, man is NEVER given the 'orders' to go against the Word of
However, man DOES often try to tell their wife to disobey God's Word, and
follow instead their 'own feelings/convictions'...even when they go
directly against the written Word of God! Should a woman follow her
husband leading in doing those things which are clearly written and
commanded in God's Word?
When he leads her and their children contrary to God's Word, should she
follow? Does this sound logical? Would any of you stop praying if your
husbands told you they didn't think you should? What if they asked you to
cut your long hair very short? Suppose they asked you to go buy them some
liquor at the local liquor store, would you buy it for them? What if he
wanted you to watch a movie with him that was filled with immorality?
What? You would go against their unBiblical leading in these areas, yet
you won't go against their unBiblical leading in the matter of
covering/modest dressing/separation from the world?
Now...one of you sisters used a good example of being in Godly
submission... I believe it was this... Suppose your husband announced that
he would only like you to wear the color 'blue.' There are to my knowledge
NO Biblical teachings AGAINST wearing only the color blue, nor does it
harbor on any appearance of 'evil'... Of course, it would be reasonable to
talk with him about this, and try to express your desires, and why you
would prefer NOT to wear only the color blue, etc...
HOWEVER, if he listened to you, and once you had both searched the
Scriptures, and you both could see no Scriptural sin in so doing, and he
STILL desired you to follow his direction in this matter of wearing
'blue'... you SHOULD obey him, and follow his direction.
Now, suppose he said he wanted you to wear only short shorts, wear low cut
tops, cut your hair shorter than his, and wear make-up to excess... A wife
facing this sort of unBiblical leading would obviously show her husband
the Scriptural reasons why she should not follow his leading. What if he
refuses to listen though? What if he says he STILL wants her to do as HE
Should she? NO!!!
God's Word should be the FINAL AUTHORITY for the woman, and if her husband
is going against God's WRITTEN Word in a particular area of leading, she
MUST not follow him. Does anyone honestly believe that she should? If not,
then what is the difference in a man telling his wife he does NOT want her
to cover, he doesn't want her hair long, etc...etc...
When after showing him the Scriptural reasons why she SHOULD cover and
have her hair long, and he STILL refuses to listen, should she 'obey' him,
or God? God doesn't weigh one 'sin' against another... Sin is simply 'sin'
in His eyes!
If it is a sin for a man to lead his wife in error to the written Word of
God in other areas, it is JUST as wrong and sinful for him to lead her in
error to the written Word of God in EVERY area! Does this make sense? I
pray that it does...
I have never seen disobeying God's Word as an option for a woman, simply
because she has a husband either:
a) who refuses to obey God's written Word
b) claims he is not under 'conviction' about something clearly written in
the Word or
c) chooses his OWN way of leading his family rather than God's way!
Are we given excuses or special circumstances in which we are allowed to
go against the Word of God, and sin?
NO! NO! NO!
Certainly the Lord desires women to be in submission to their husbands,
but He does not give them liberty to sin, because they have husbands who
lead them with weak backbones in obeying His Word!
When we put ANY man's desires above those of our Holy God, we are indeed
Dear sisters, I know this WHOLE issue of submission and the headcovering
can be VERY confusing... But it truly doesn't HAVE to be! We ALWAYS need
to simply remember, that GOD and HIS WORD are the FINAL AUTHORITY for our
lives... If He has told us in His WRITTEN Word to do something, we better
not listen to ANYONE else but HIM!!
He will bless our obedience and faith in Him MUCH MORE than our obedience
to man... We are told to seek HIM first, and ALL His righteousness, and
ALL the other 'things' will be given unto us!
The 'things' could mean He will bless us by giving our husbands TRUE
understanding... in ALL areas of leading us and our families... Should we
continue doing wrong and sinning against the written Word of God while we
wait on our husbands to lead us according to God's Word?
NO! Of course not!
We MUST put God FIRST, even above our husbands! Please accept these
thoughts from the great love from Christ that I have for each and every
one of you! May we ALL look to Christ ONLY on areas of our lives that He
has specifically written to us about...
May HIS Word be the 'final Word'! :)
In His Loving Arms~ Sis Jennifer
The "Christian " women we have come across will let the
husband be the head up to a point. These are just some of the things that
"If the husband is telling you how to dress and to cover, he has
gone too far and better get his life right with God."
Also . . . "Who is the church to tell us women what to do!"
"I want to look nice! No makeup or 'lacy' dresses or big bows in
hair? How can I live that way!"
And then there is the abuse issue. . . "First he tells you what to
wear; you give him the headship, and he will start beating you!"
The key word is submission to what God says first, even if we don't
like it or if it hurts our pride --then submission to our husbands. This
is not abuse. Does God abuse the church??? I think that Christians know
what is right but don't what to submit. How loud do children cry when they
want their way?
I wanted to head cover before my husband wanted me to. We did get in to it
a little, I wanted him to know that this was right. It's hard to be Godly
wife and to make a point to my husband. But I waited for his blessing on
it. This has drawn us closer together.
Bless you all,
I felt the heart to share something with you, who want to cover but do not
want to dishonour your husbands. When the Lord put it on my heart about
4-5 months ago, it was during my praise and prayer time in my prayer
closet. For a while I just didn't understand why I was doing it, I just
know that I felt more humble and somehow closer and more intimate from the
day I began covering in my prayer closet. Despite the lack of full
understanding I listened and obeyed, but kept my door locked during which
time I was covered via long, long scarf. It wasn't until after I read
Watchman Nees book that I understood I Cor. 11, and read it to my beloved
and immediately the Holy Spirit gave him understanding. Thus I am totally
released to honour my Father and my beloved. Yet because I feel the Lord
led me to this specifically in my prayer closet, I do not see how this
could dishonour your husband to just wear it in your private prayer closet
when praising, worshipping , praying, and doing your Bible study in His
Holy Word. That is between you and God, private and a blessing. Seek the
Lord on this for your own answer, but truly this is a personal time with
God, and I see no room for dishonouring the lordship in your home. Matthew
6:6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast
shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which
seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. I really feel deep in my spirit,
in the very heart of my heart, that my obedience unto God secretly,
birthed the devine revelation so instantly in my husband as God willed it,
in His perfect timing. It truly was like a light going on for him, there
was no discomfort,and the word was easily entreated, it became so natural
for both of us instantaneously, this is my reward, the loving support of
my husband openly. Praise and glory to God Almighty who does continually
overtake us with
Love to you all.....
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Reserved She Maketh Herself Coverings
These messages were posted on Headcoverings
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